Maybe it’s time to pull an Obambi and address the race issue….
You don’t have to be white to be a d-bag — but it helps! If you are like me — a d-bag — you are a member of an ancient fraternity. (Sig Ep, represent!) D-bags exist in all countries, speak all languages, are in [...]
Archive for April, 2008
You don’t have to be white to be a d-bag — but it helps!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Class, Humor, Jeremiah Wright, Obama, Politics, Race, Racism, Satire on April 30, 2008 | 3 Comments »
D-bags in the news: Josef Fritzl
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Britney, Humor, Incest, Josef Fritzl, Rape, Satire, Stalag on April 29, 2008 | 3 Comments »
By any definition of the term, Josef Fritzl is a d-bag. He has taken the mantra “I deserve it” to its most logical — and absurd — extreme.
See also:
Britney
Stalag
GTA IV
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Drugs, Gaming, GTA IV, Humor, Satire, Sex, Sport, Stuff White People Like, Video Games, Violence on April 29, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Today is Kidz Korner on Stuff White D-bags Like!
SAS. This is the only way to vocalize the awesomeness of this game. S. A. S. Any other way of talking about the totally SICK AS SHIT awesomeness of this shiznit would profane it’s utter kick-ass-ed-ness. Of course, some white people would like to ruin the fun [...]
D-bags in the news: Daniel Pipes
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Anti-Semitism, Daniel Pipes, Education, English, French, Humor, Liberal, Muslim, Politics, Satire, Surrender Monkey on April 28, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Daniel Pipes, director of the anti-Muslim research group Middle East Forum and internet blogger helped quash a Arabic school in Brooklyn, New York. Said Mr. Pipes in a White People Times article, ” The danger is that the United States stands to become another England or France.”
Whoa! Thank you Mr. Pipes for intervening on the [...]
Deficit spending
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Ben Bernacke, credit, Credit Crunch, deficits, Fed, Humor, Inflation, Mortgage, Politics, Satire, spending, Stuff White D-bags Like, Stuff White People Like, Tax on April 28, 2008 | 6 Comments »
There is no money a d-bag can’t spend if he can just get his hands on it. That is why d-bags of every social and economic class work together to promote deficit spending.
What is deficit spending? The simple answer is borrowing money you never intend to repay to acquire goods and services you can enjoy [...]
Ethanol
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Cars, Environment, Ethanol, Famine, Global Warming, Humor, Satire, Stuff White People Like on April 27, 2008 | 5 Comments »
What is the d-bag’s love affair with maize all about? Well, it’s versatile, it’s all natural, it’s fun, and it’ll be the new gas for the 21st century!
Some of the many important uses of ethanol will be:
1) Reducing our dependence on Islamofascism from the Middle East
2) Increasing our freedoms, as guaranteed by God and the [...]
Cornhole
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Cincinnati, Corn, Culture, Entertainment, Food, Football, Humor, Indiana, Kentucky, Media, Midwest, Ohio, Satire, Sport, Stuff White People Like, Travel on April 26, 2008 | 4 Comments »
Toss it in your Cornhole! What is Cornhole? Although it has been called many things – Corn Toss, Bean Bag, Bean Toss, Soft Horseshoes, Indiana Horseshoes, Salad Toss, Cincinnati Sphincter Stretch – for those who have grown up with the game, and avid newcomers alike, the sport is passionately referred to as Cornhole.
The origins of [...]
Britney
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Britney Spears, Humor, Punani, Satire, Stuff White People Like, Tits on April 25, 2008 | 5 Comments »
Britney has been a staple of the white d-bag’s cultural diet for almost a decade. Middle-aged d-bags with dilating bald spots were young men when Spears’s ground breaking hit “…Baby One More Time” was first released in January of 1999. Then, they openly salivated over the newly-legal 18-year-old Spears’s luscious, creamy thighs and sweet as [...]
God
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged God, Humor, Satire on April 24, 2008 | 12 Comments »
Not Jesus, Mary, Buddha or Loki! Not even Zeus (though if they thought about it they’d like him too). D-bags love GOD! YAWEH, the One and Only, The Man Upstairs, the Unmoved Mover, He who may only be represented by the TETRAGRAMMATON, He who holds worlds in his hand, yea, universes! His heart is as [...]
D-bags in the news: We’re Number #1!!!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Humor, Prison, Satire on April 23, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Another reason to be proud that America is number one!
From the White People Times: “The United States leads the world in producing prisoners, a reflection of a relatively recent and now entirely distinctive American approach to crime and punishment. Americans are locked up for crimes — from writing bad checks to using drugs — that [...]
D-bags in the news: Las Vegas
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Humor, Las Vegas, Satire on April 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Las Vegas’s new plan to build an entirely new downtown next to the old downtown shows the triumph of d-bag thinking in this city most symbolic of the d-bag’s way of life. As the White People Times reports: “On Thursday, the city will formally inaugurate a new urban core on a 61-acre, undeveloped parcel of [...]
Dictionary of National D-Bags: Tim Allen
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Cocaine, Humor, Santa Claus, Satire, Tim Allen on April 23, 2008 | 6 Comments »
[In order to preserve the rich culture and history of d-baggery in the United States, "Stuff White D-bags Like" is introducing a new feature: the Dictionary of National D-bags! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!]
Who is the iconic face of white, American d-baggery? — Tim Allen. It completely goes without thinking that the man who made gorilla noises [...]
Bros
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Bros, Humor, Satire, Stuff White People Like on April 21, 2008 | 6 Comments »
White d-bags love bros because bros are white d-bags in training. What is a bro? A bro is an eighteen to twenty-four year old male who wears Birkinstock sandals, watches Family Guy, and wears an upside down visor or baseball cap with a pre-frayed brim. Bros used to wear Abercombie and Fitch; now bros wear [...]
Gleeking
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Bros, Humor, Satire on April 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
How can you get the attention of the pencil-dick in front of you in class? How do you show the guy sitting in the next row at a baseball game you think he’s a pussy? Let a little rain fall on his head. (This technique also works on women.) Though the physiology of gleeking is [...]
Nextel phones
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged cell phones, Humor, nextel, Satire, sprint, technology on April 18, 2008 | 1 Comment »
As any d-bag knows, the bigger — and louder! — the better.
D-bags are no strangers to new technologies — in fact d-bags love new technology! It allows the d-bag to use fresh acronyms, proclaim himself to be a “gear-head,” and demonstrate masculine proficiency with tools (Tim Allen). However, whereas most of the civilized world develops [...]
Acronyms
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Bros, Humor, Satire on April 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
D-bags love acronyms. One way that d-bags recognize each other is by the amplitude and sophistication of their use of acronyms. Acronyms are attractive to the d-bag because they convey a sense of no-nonsense urgency, truthiness, and facticity that is impossible to achieve by saying each full word. An acronym is easy to learn by [...]
Flat tax
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Humor, Politics, Satire, Tax on April 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I decided to do a post in honor of tax day, but I couldn’t get to the post office in time. Whatever. Those beltway boneheads won’t sue me if it’s a day late. Which brings me to the d-bag issue at hand: It literally does not take one brain cell for a d-bag to [...]
Sheriff Joe Arpaio
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Humor, Politics, Sadism, Satire on April 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A d-bag likes to drink (Bud Lite); a d-bag loves to drive (Dodge Nitro); but a d-bag is also a faithful lover of law and order. That’s where America’s (more specifically Phoenix’s) sheriff — Joe Arpaio — comes in. When a perp doesn’t know when to say when and climbs behind the wheel of an [...]
The Stalag
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Humor, Politics, Sadism, Satire, Sex on April 15, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Who could possibly like Nazi porn? You guessed it — a d-bag. Though to some pussies this might seem like a completely insensitive and immoral pleasure, a real d-bag understands the subversive allure of this Israeli porn of the early 60s. The basic plot of a “stalag” (short for “Stammlager”, itself a short form of [...]
Negs
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Humor, Satire, Sex on April 14, 2008 | 1 Comment »
How do you get to a woman’s heart? Forget diamonds and furs. Don’t even worry about personal grooming, height, or a slim physique. If you want to win a woman’s punani you have to learn how to neg. A neg is “a false disqualifier that lowers the target’s [i.e. woman's] comparative value to the seducer. [...]
