God
April 24, 2008 by chunque
Not Jesus, Mary, Buddha or Loki! Not even Zeus (though if they thought about it they’d like him too). D-bags love GOD! YAWEH, the One and Only, The Man Upstairs, the Unmoved Mover, He who may only be represented by the TETRAGRAMMATON, He who holds worlds in his hand, yea, universes! His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a piece of the nether millstone. When he raiseth up himself, the mighty are afraid: by reason of breakings they purify themselves. The sword of him that layeth at him cannot hold: the spear, the dart, nor the habergeon. He esteemeth iron as straw, and brass as rotten wood. The arrow cannot make him flee: slingstones are turned with him into stubble. Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear. Sharp stones are under him: he spreadeth sharp pointed things upon the mire. He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment. He maketh a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be hoary. Upon earth there is not his like, who is made without fear. He beholdeth all high things: he is a king over all the children of pride!
Yea, he is the true apotheosis of a d-bag, and so we worship him.
[...] Thank you Mr. Pipes for intervening on the behalf of God and America! The last thing a d-bag wants is to become a cheese-eating surrender monkey. (Though [...]
You know, Jews, Muslims, and non-Caucasoid Christians also worship YHVH.
Sure do! As well they should, cuz all humans who do not worship him will be hunted down here on Earth and burned by firey spits in the depths of Hell!
[...] This practice, known in North America a “hazing” takes place traditionally at University where young, white, male d-bags receive the cultural indoctrination necessary to make them captains of industry, corrections officers, leaders in global finance, Bruce Willis, directors of marketing, and successful bloggers. It must be recognized, however, that d-baggery is not exclusively the province of whites or men. Off-white d-bags also participate in ritualized affirmations of masculinity, notably Wahabist Muslims, Texas Mormons, and other devotes of the one, true God. [...]
[...] D-bags have been granted the right to inflame hatred and pick fights, either by Nature or God. [...]
[...] from the Middle East 2 Increasing our freedoms, as guaranteed by God and the Constitution 3http://stuffwhitedbagslike.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/god/Beanbag-toss game catches on in West Michigan The Jackson Citizen PatriotOn a recent Monday night at [...]
[...] Cars, GGW, Juntas) d-bags loooooove kinky sex. To enjoy sex in itself is not unusual, as most of God’s creatures find pleasure in copulation. As the old song goes, “birds do it, bees do it, even [...]
[...] Increasing our freedoms, as guaranteed by God and the [...]
[...] God [...]
[...] This one actually takes a minute of brain power, ’cause it’s a little counter-intuitive. Why would a d-bag like — even love — Iran? There are so many things to dislike about the place. It’s full of Muslims. It is a spoke on the Axis of Evil. It embarrassed the Carter administration and helped get Reagan elected president. Ok, that’s not so bad. In fact, this line of thinking is why d-bags, in their secret heart of hearts love Iran. Without Iran there would be no excuse for a d-bag to interrupt polite dinner conversation so he can scream, red-faced, about liberal appeasers, Hitler, and the essentially Satanic nature of government services like socialized medicine, effective disaster relief, and paved roads. Iran is hard proof that Evil (notice the capital “e”
exists and that it will use our weakness and lack of respect for authority to contaminate us and taint our purity. It is the Beast of Revelations that calls us forth to battle gloriously for the one, true God. [...]
[...] bag bitches, and enrich themselves with gifts from the poor, all in the name of the one, true God. Being able to say you’re sorry, avoid punishment, and continue d-bagging is a wonderful [...]