It’s mouthwatering to imagine — a tasty, hot and juicy Oscar Mayer hot dog wrapped inside a soft and warm bakery-fresh bun. And now imagine only having to wait thirty-five seconds for that first delicious bite! Each individually wrapped Oscar Mayer Fast Frank tastes great thanks to a specially designed microwavable paper tray that heats the bun just right. Oscar Mayer has created this innovative new product to satisfy America’s love for hot dogs in a more convenient way!
Thirty-five seconds after you decided you were hungry, and ten seconds later when you were sated, you realized the kitchen needs remodeling! Have you seen the new Judd Apatow movie? Don’t tell me the ending! I lease this car, so I can get a new one every year. I love new car smell! Have you been to the new mall yet, the one they just built by the overpass? They have all kinds of new stores, one of those crazy, Mongolian, cook your own food restaurants, and an In-And-Out Burger. Can you believe David Cook won American Idol? I bet he’s going to be a big star — bigger than Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks for sure. I think I like The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People better than Who Moved My Cheese. It’s more classic — and it’s more up to date.
I really hate it when people are so negative. It makes me want to slap them across their quivering little mouths. I’m like, sure there are problems in the world, but they won’t get solved if we all just sit around and whine about yesterday’s mistakes. And if you dwell on everything that happened in the past you’ll miss all the great stuff that’s happening now. I mean, look at this picture to the left. Sure, there is a heap of trash piled up on the side of the street in some random American city, but there is a message of hope too. Look at the loving family leaning over that stroller. New life. That’s what it’s all about. That’s morning in America. If you’re focused on the past, you just can’t see it.
This is v. clever.
Nicely done.