If you are at a party, and you notice a guy in a wife-beater and jeans sneaking off to the bathroom with your girlfriend to do some blow, you are probably looking at a d-bag. D-bags love cocaine, and they would love to share some with your girl as you look idly on. Cocaine is the drug of choice for d-bags for many reasons:
1) It makes you feel smarter, cooler, and better looking than everyone else in the room (even if they’re doing it too).
2) You can sometimes trade it to girls for sex.
3) It isn’t as pussy as pot; and LSD will make you legally insane, after, like, only five doses.
4) It doesn’t have the same social stigma as crack.
Some things to know if you want to share some cocaine with a d-bag:
1) If you don’t have a vagina, forget it.
2) If you do have a vagina, get the d-bag to spoon out all his cocaine before you agree to sex with him. With any luck he won’t be able to get it up. Getting head from a wired d-bag is infinitely preferable to intercourse.
3) Never “go in on a bag” with a d-bag. They will insist on holding it, and you will get none. If you demand your share they will throw up their arms in frustration and tell you that you are a d-bag.