A d-bag likes to drink (Bud Lite); a d-bag loves to drive (Dodge Nitro); but a d-bag is also a faithful lover of law and order. That’s where America’s (more specifically Phoenix’s) sheriff — Joe Arpaio — comes in. When a perp doesn’t know when to say when and climbs behind the wheel of an automobile, sheriff Joe is there to protect the children and animals who have been endangered by a d-bag acting like a real d-bag. Sheriff Arpaio sends perps to the “Tent City Jail”: He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. He took away their weights cut off all but “G” movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn’t get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that requires cable TV for jails so he hooked up the cable TV again but only let In The Disney Channel and The Weather Channel.
When asked why The Wweather Channel he replied, “so they will know how hot It’s gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.
He bought Newt Gingrich’s lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place. (D-bags do not like democracy!)
With temperatures being even hotter than usual In phoenix last summer (116 degrees just set a new record), Sheriff Joe gave the 2,000 inmates living in his tent prison permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
“It feels like we are in a furnace,” said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. “It’s Inhumane.”
Arpaio, said that he told all of the inmates: “It’s 120 degrees In Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn’t commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!”
Way To Go, Sheriff!