Liberals, the French and white people often wrongly accuse d-bags of being misogynist. This is simply not the case. D-bags have always had a love affair with strong women.
Here are just a few examples of the strong women d-bags love: Martha Washington, Betsy Ross, Jenna Jamison, Doctor Quinn, medicine woman, Starbuck on the new Battlestar Gallactica, my mom, Pam Anderson, your mom, Nancy Reagan, Carrie Nation, and of course Ann Coulter. Each one of these women has given to their community selflessly without whining about how they got a raw deal from men, or burning their bras, or acting all cold and frigid, or pressing charges, or running to their big brothers and rich lawyer dads for protection.
It’s no coincidence that the ultimate strong woman is married to the ultimate d-bag. In her heroic novel Sisters the lives of archetypal strong women from the mythical days of the American frontier are painted with strong colors that never fade or run. The story is a historical novel set in Cheyenne, Wyoming in 1886. Sophie Dymond, a magazine editor in New York, comes home to Cheyenne after the death of her sister, Helen. Sophie discovers a letter written to her sister by a woman who teaches school in Cheyenne. The letter reads, “Let us go away together, away from the anger and imperatives of men. We shall find ourselves a secluded bower where they dare not venture. There will be only the two of us, and we shall linger through long afternoons of sweet retirement. In the evenings I shall read to you while you work your cross-stitch in the firelight. And then we shall go to bed, our bed, my dearest girl. . .” (ellipsis in original). Obviously strong women don’t need a man to justify their existence. (Though they do need ellipses to suggest hot, moist sex.) The point is driven home in another passage: “The women who embraced in the wagon were Adam and Eve on a dark cathedral stage — no, Eve and Eve, loving one another as they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit and knew themselves as they truly were. She felt curiously moved, curiously envious of them . . . she saw that the women in the cart had a passionate, loving intimacy forever closed to her. How strong it made them.” Indeed, a strong woman (Ann Coulter inevitably comes to mind) may herself play the role of Adam, “the man” in Hebrew, when it is required! The Bible explicitly says there is no Adam and Steve, but as Mrs. Cheney has deftly demonstrated, it didn’t say anything about Ann and Eve. Young d-bags need strong women as role models. Any women who can out d-bag a d-bag is a wonder and a prodigy. And really, weren’t d-bags originally made for women?