Sunday morning. Pour a cup of coffee, pick up the paper off the front porch. Smell the greening of May. Fire up the computer and navigate to CNN. Whoa! Check this sh*t out!!!
That is some fine journalism. Especially because it’s the lead story! These are the narrative highlights that appeal to d-bags:
To make it more accessible to d-bag reading levels the story is summarized in bullet points at the top right of the page.