I bet you’ve noticed how d-bags like to brag about how they got rich, or plan to get rich, or got rich three generations ago. But money isn’t everything — even to a d-bag.
It’s not about winning and losing (always win, by any means necessary); it’s about how you play the game. Just being rich is no fun for a d-bag. In fact, just being rich might make you a liberal! There is an everybody way to make money, and then there is the d-bag way to make money.
The everybody way is for pussies: Go to school, work hard, play fair, treat others with respect as you would have them treat you.
The d-bag way, as exemplified by war profiteers like Dick “Master D-bag of the Universe” Cheney, is way cooler. Get a job running an oil company in Texas from a man you despise; use his son as a puppet to promote your own political ambitions; start an unprovoked war by lying to the world; vigorously advocate the most radical d-bag philosophy of governmental power; use that power to award no-bid contracts to the company that is still cutting you paychecks; then sit back and laugh at the suckers who thought playing by the rules would make them rich.
But a d-bag is always looking for some icing on the cake into which he can jam his stubby little fingers, and here it is (as reported in the White People Times): “Charles M. Smith, the Army official who managed the Pentagon’s largest contract in Iraq says he was ousted from his job when he refused to approve paying more than $1 billion in questionable charges to KBR, the Houston-based company and former subsidiary of Haliburton that has provided food, housing and other services to American troops.”
“Mr. Smith began warning KBR that he would withhold payments and performance bonuses until the company provided the Army with adequate data to justify the expenses. The bonuses [a. k. a. “kickbacks”] — worth up to 2 percent of the value of the work — had to be approved by special boards of Army officials, and Mr. Smith made it clear that he would not set up the boards without the information.”
“Mr. Smith also told KBR that, until the information was received, he would withhold 15 percent of all payments on its future work in Iraq. ‘KBR really did not like that, and they told me they were going to fight it,’ Mr. Smith recalled.”
“In August 2004, he told one of his deputies, Mary Beth Watkins, to hand deliver a letter about the threatened penalties to a KBR official visiting Rock Island. A day later, Mr. Smith discovered that he had been replaced when he went to a meeting with KBR officials and found a colleague there in his place.”
“Soon after Mr. Smith was replaced, the Army hired a contractor, RCI Holding Corporation, to review KBR’s costs. “They came up with estimates, using very weak data from KBR,” Mr. Smith said. “They ignored D.C.A.A.’s auditors,” he said, referring to the Defense Contract Audit Agency.”
“Paul Heagen, a spokesman for RCI’s parent company, the Serco Group, said his firm had insisted on working with the Army auditors. While KBR did not provide all of the data Mr. Smith had been seeking, Mr. Heagen said his company had used “best practices” and sound methodology to determine KBR’s costs.”
“Bob Bauman, a former Pentagon fraud investigator and contracting expert, said that was unusual. ‘I have never seen a contractor given that position, of estimating costs and scrubbing D.C.A.A.’s numbers,’ he said. ‘I believe they are treading on dangerous ground.’”
“The Army also convened boards that awarded KBR high performance bonuses, according to Mr. Smith.”
“High grades on its work in Iraq also allowed KBR to win more work from the Pentagon, and this spring, KBR was awarded a share in the new 10-year contract. The Army also announced that Serco, RCI’s parent, will help oversee the Army’s new contract with KBR.
“’In the end,’ Mr. Smith said, ‘KBR got what it wanted.’”
Be a d-bag! Subvert the government and enrich yourself at taxpayers’ expense by making bald-faced lies right out in the open! Challenge the pussies in Congress to impeach you! If you’re a real d-bag you won’t do anything less.