- Are you violently angry when you see someone driving a Prius? If you are, you might be a d-bag.
- When you hear people speaking in ching-chong or Mexican and they aren’t working in a kitchen, do you do your impeccable imitation of Lou Dobbs? If you do, you might be a d-bag.
- Does it bother you when people get a good feeling because they bought something that they thought was quality, instead of just cheap? Then you might be a d-bag.
- Do you like every moment of your waking day to be hammered by ear-splitting noise, for example from a hemi V-8 engine, a blasting PA in your local sports bar, or a fart ripping out of your ass? Then you might be a d-bag.
- Do you see nature as one giant toilette for you to shit in? Then you might be a d-bag.
- Are other people means to your ends? If they are, you’re a d-bag.
- Have you ever accused a teacher, a writer, or artist of being stupid because they said something you didn’t understand? If you have, you’re a d-bag.
- Is the only reading you do in bullet points or on the ticker at the bottom of a TV screen? If it is, you might be a d-bag.
- Do you have loud, private conversations in public, either when using a hands-free mobile device or even with just yourself? If you do, you’re either a d-bag or schizophrenic. (Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.)
- Do you have a gnawing feeling that the world was once your oyster, but now the white people are getting the upper hand? If you do, you might be a d-bag.
Posts Tagged ‘Jeff Foxworthy’
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Christian Lander, Conservative, Culture, Humor, Jeff Foxworthy, Politics, Republican, Satire, Stuff White D-bags Like, Stuff White People Like on July 31, 2008| 1 Comment »