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Posts Tagged ‘Jeff Foxworthy’

  • Are you violently angry when you see someone driving a Prius? If you are, you might be a d-bag.
  • When you hear people speaking in ching-chong or Mexican and they aren’t working in a kitchen, do you do your impeccable imitation of Lou Dobbs? If you do, you might be a d-bag.
  • ¬†Does it bother you when people get a good feeling because they bought something that they thought was quality, instead of just cheap? Then you might be a d-bag.
  • Do you like every moment of your waking day to be hammered by ear-splitting noise, for example from a hemi V-8 engine, a blasting PA in your local sports bar, or a fart ripping out of your ass? Then you might be a d-bag.
  • Do you see nature as one giant toilette for you to shit in? Then you might be a d-bag.
  • Are other people means to your ends? If they are, you’re a d-bag.
  • Have you ever accused a teacher, a writer, or artist of being stupid because they said something you didn’t understand? If you have, you’re a d-bag.
  • Is the only reading you do in bullet points or on the ticker at the bottom of a TV screen? If it is, you might be a d-bag.
  • Do you have loud, private conversations in public, either when using a hands-free mobile device or even with just yourself? If you do, you’re either a d-bag or schizophrenic. (Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.)
  • Do you have a gnawing feeling that the world was once your oyster, but now the white people are getting the upper hand? If you do, you might be a d-bag.
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